you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize