That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
