I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
