A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
They are going to name an STD after you.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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