She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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