Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
