Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You pole danced in your parka.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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