Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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