did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
it glows. i had to have it.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
