It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
