So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i love accidental penises.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
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Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
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The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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