Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
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Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
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An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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