oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Randomize
