so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She needs sedatives and a leash
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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