"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
