...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
