...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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