there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
