Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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