and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
