So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
