He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
