Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
