Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I AM VODKA MAN
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize