what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
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he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
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But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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