At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
