you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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