it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize