What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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