D3 body, D1 cock
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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