Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
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I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
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The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
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