Pappa wants mamma naked
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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