I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
