I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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