i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
