I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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