oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
