I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
