I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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