I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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