I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
