somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize