So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
