if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
