Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
