Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
