She said her name was "party"
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize