I bet he comes in French.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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