would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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