Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
