I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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