i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I love you. Go after that dick
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize