I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
