I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize