we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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