what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I love you. Go after that dick
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
