No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
