after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
