Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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