I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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