After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
the raccoons are back...
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