I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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