i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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