Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
